I am only human

Sometimes I don't understand myself.  

I don't really want another kid yet it saddens me to be reminded that the clock is ticking.

I don't care about those idiots that I don't even work with, yet they infuriate me by wasting time.  

The left brain thinks. The right brain feels.  It may be more accurate to say my left and right brain don't communicate.

Or maybe it is that stupid id brain, giving those idiots power to tip my balance.

Moving on...

Today is 5/6, not even a month after the Korean ferry disaster on 4/16, and the news coverage has diminished.  (Flight 370 has also left the spot light.) Perhaps it is fitting that we need to move on.  But if God is listening today, please take those innocent souls to a better place and give the families peace. 

Nearly 130 divers are still combing the wreckage trying to give closure to the families of 35 people still unaccounted for.  One of these brave, compassionate souls died over the weekend.  May he be remembered as a hero doing the right thing even when hope is gone.

Updates on 5/8.  Investigations showed that the ferry was overloaded with twice as much cargo, which was probably not properly secured.  A shifting load on a moving vessel is likely reason for the ship to list (Myth Busters had an episode on this).  The Korean government moved quickly to revoked the shipping company's license and arrest the CEO.  It was oddly reassuring.  We all need someone to blame when bad things happen.  I wonder if finding the root cause changes anything for the victims' families.  Nothing will bring back the lives lost.  But will they feel better to yell at someone?  Can they channel their anger to positive changes?

The Swiss cheese model says that an incident happens only if multiple safeguards fail simultaneously, engineering solutions, administrative control, human protection.  That is certainly the case here.  If the ship was designed to hold more cargo, if the scheduler paid attention to the weight of cargo being booked, if the workers are better trained to secure the cargo, if the captain made better decisions or was better trained.  For so many things to go wrong, there must have been something seriously broken in the corporate culture.  Swift justice in this case seems more than justified.  If it seems like a case of guilty until proven innocent, so be it.  Some people do not deserve the benefit of doubt.

Right vs. Wrong

When I was young, the world was black and white  I knew what was right and what was wrong.  I liked to debate my position, because  I knew I was right.  I enjoyed being right.

I miss that world.

As I grew older, things started appearing in all shades of gray.  Sometimes, every single decision available is wrong.  Sometimes, they are all right, depending on the view point. 

We can regret a decision in the past.
We can look for justification to feel righteous about our decisions.
We cannot change the past.  We can only walk down the path that opened up because of the decisions we made.   We can never know what lies on that other path that closed.

Look forward, don't look back.
We are who we are because of the decisions we made.
Be true to yourself.
Be happy.
We are OK.